We have rotten luck in sporting events like the Olympics, the SEAGames and the Asian Games.
Partly because our organizing committees for these events spend an inordinate amount of time figuring out their respective entourage, per diems, shopping skeds, hotel arrangements and “tong-pats”.
Conveniently forgotten in the equation is what our poor but deserving athletes truly need: training and inspiration.
I say let’s fire all the rotten sports officials and take matters into our own hands.
For starters, let’s lobby for the inclusion of athletic events where we WILL excel and bring home the gold.
I propose the following which unleashes our proven competence:
1. Marathon Shopping. Every Pinoy husband and certified & closet DOM can be expected to file a sworn statement attesting to the fact that Pinays are unbeatable in this field.
2. Chismis Relay. Pinoys have a built-in sensor for what will trend in the chismis department.
Actually, you never have to wait for Sunday afternoon to hear Boy Abunda fill you in on what’s buzzing. Just go to the reception area of any office in Makati… hang out for a few minutes… and by the time you leave, you’ll know – from reliable sources – who is sleeping with whom, why this actress cannot lose excess poundage, who PNoy sent a bossa nova mix tape to, and why a rich billionaire is enamored with Derek.
3. Fart Discus Event. The rules are so simple… you can figure out immediately why our dominating this event was destined.
The sport celebrates as winners the competitors who can hurl their respective farts the farthest… a gold for the one that travels far and wide and dominantly permeates the totally sealed venue. Game officially starts after each contestant ingests one balut, a piece of camote and a mouthful of durian.
4. Blamestorming. A favorite pastime can be elevated to a gold medal-churning activity.
Every Pinoy is never ever responsible for anything that goes haywire. Or to capture the concept succinctly, the palpak started elsewhere, with somebody else.
For Pinoy contenders, no need for pre-game finger limbering exercises. In this department, our athletes are always “good to go”.
5. Party High Jump. We can expect to sweep this event. Our politicos are the unbeatable champs with much experience. The rigorous training normally starts on the day the political party in power starts losing its power.
It’s high time we retire our sports officials who are mostly clueless on how we can finally shine in some international athletic event.
They do not have the passion to push Philippine sports to new, greater heights.
What they’re exceptionally good at is… complaining about how there’s always NOT ENOUGH BUDGET.
Nearly 100 Million Filipinos on the planet… and these pathetic aging officials are content to let their minions do the scouting and dirty work while they…
Wait for a sign.
Or their retirement benefits.
BTW, a warm “Mabuhay” to our Pinoy kababayans who took gold at the recent 2012 World Hip Hop Dance Championships
Gold – 1st – The Crew (Philippines)
Silver – Neutral Zone (Mexico)
Bronze – Academy Of Villians (US)
Way to go!