1. Chief transformation officer: You are the Incredible Hulk?
2. Vp of global people operations: Smuggling people across boarders is still illegal, no matter what you call it.
3. Difference maker: How long have you been teaching math and English to children in Uganda? That is really amazing. That is what you do, right? Because it says “difference maker” on your business card. Wait, you do what for brands and marketers? Oh.
4. Chief awesome officer: So you are Guy Fieri?
5. Chief storyteller: You are a kindergarten teacher?
6. Chief get-it-done officer: You probably high-five a lot.
7. Digital prophet: Because guru was already taken, I’m assuming.