Thinking of what to give the most powerful man in the nation is a difficult task indeed.
Chances are, he can afford whatever he wants.
And, in the off chance that he can’t, the sycophants who surround him will move heaven, earth and Greenbelt 5 to produce it.
As a service for those who need to give him something come Christmas, I scoured the web for gift ideas that he will likely appreciate.
A macho necktie that will immediately erase lingering perceptions that he’s timid, awkward and not sex machine material.
A winning “hybrid” gift that caters to his love for target shooting… and chocolates
Now, he can do it anytime… anywhere (And, guess what… smoking this inside a plane is not yet banned by airlines.)
A great outfit to wear to show he’s “in” – especially when his date is half his age
Best shirt to wear when going to fitness centers like Air Force One where the ladies are always on the lookout for a “promising future”
The President can use a break from reading the long charge sheets for the couple hogging the news. This would be a most educational diversion.
To appease the thousands objecting to the lifting of the “hold departure” order on the former First Gentleman, what can be more apt than this fashionable bracelet tracker as his heartfelt “pamasko” for Sir Mike?
And finally… a painting to inspire him: although his quest to put corrupt people behind bars may seem quixotic (even to some members of his own team), he just might succeed.