Until a few days ago.
That was right after Pacman boldly revealed his political plans. And it looks like snagging the highest position in the land is part of his career goals.
Which got me unconsciously doing the sign of the cross several times and mouthing some ejaculations… oh, i mean litanies. (In my altar boy days, “ejaculations” was what they were called kasi.)
I started imagining his first few months in office and here are some “imagined” highlights.
President Pacman’s health secretary VIcky Belo releases a health bulletin:
Viagra is like a fun ride in Disneyland – a 1 hour wait for a 2-minute ride
Our man in Hollywood – Ruben Nepales – asked President Pacman what his favorite “fight” movies are, Pacman quickly answered, “yung matindi ang banatan, tulad ng… Rocky, Ali, Raging Bull, FIght Club… One Night in Paris.”
Alarmed at the rising number of street crimes, President Pacman ordered his DILG Chief Buboy Fernandez to bring him the best CCTV expert and surveillance authority in the land. Pacman stressed… only the best.
Fernandez quickly searched for Hayden Kho.
Highly impressed with his many skills, President Pacman’s search committee asked Dr. Kho…
“What position would interest you?”
His quick reply: “missionary” & “doggy style”.
Pacman personally handpicked the menu for the forthcoming ASEAN Annual Summit. A cursory look shows the list includes most of his personal favorites: tinolang manok, chicken adobo, sinigang hipon, papaitan, extra rice… beef jerky, as appetizer. For those not into sinigang hipon – Lucky Me. And for dessert, his favorite “Samalamig”.
PSG officers pooled their personal resources to raise funds for the soundproofing of President Pacman’s play room. It seems that their men have been losing sleep because of the loud nightly rehearsals of the President with his band… aggravated by the non-stop rendition of “La Bamba”.
On their annual exhibition trip to the Phiippines, the Lakers were asked if they will pay a courtesy call on President Pacman. Lakers’ leader Kobe Bryant said “we won’t pay no courtesy call… but, we’ll play… a round of pick-up games with the President.”
President Pacman lashed out at two members of the clergy exposed as being child molesters.
He fumed in his patented Pacman-style English, “You should be ashamed to yourself. Praktis what you prits…”
“Perya sa Forbes Park” was the theme of the birthday party of Princess, one of the President’s daughters. The party was held at the ritzy village where President Pacman owns one of the biggest properties. Neighbors were invited – but apparently all of them had “previous engagements”.