CHUBIBO!

Kumakalat sa internet ang diumano’y talumpati ng lider ng Austraia – isang babae.

Mukhang napuno na sa maraming reklamador, kaya sa talumpati’y galit na giniit ni Australian Prime Minister Julia Gilard na ang mga immigrants sa bansa ang dapat makibagay at mag-adjust sa pamamaraan ng buhay sa Australia – hindi ang mga Australian.

Pinaliwanag niya na “Ingles ang pananalita rito – hindi Kastila, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian o iba pang wika. Kung gusto niyong maging bahagi ng aming lipunan, mag-aral kayo ng Ingles”

Dagdag pang sinabi, “Karamihan ng mga Australian ay naniniwala sa Diyos.

Pagka’t ang bansang ito’y tinatag ng mga Kristiyano, wala kaming nakikitang masama kung ang aming paniniwala ay umabot sa mga paaralan.

Kung nao-offend kayo sa Diyos, mas mainam na maghanap kayo ng matitirhan sa ibang bahagi ng mundo pagka’t ang Diyos ay bahagi ng aming kultura.

Tanggap namin ang inyong paniniwala at hindi ito kwe-kwestyunin.
Kung hindi kayo masaya rito, umalis na lang kayo.

Hindi namin kayong pinilit na tumungo rito. Kaya tanggapin niyo ang bansang inyong pinili.”

Yan ang lider!

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Libu-libo ang naperwisyo nang umulan at biglang nagbaha noong Lunes.

May inabot ng limang oras bago makarating sa Cubao – mula sa Makati.

Makati hanggang Cubao – limang oras!

Ang perwisyo ay dala ng mga dating dahilan: mga repair work sa kalye (na di kailanman matapos-tapos habang hindi pa tag-ulan), basurang di nakokolekta, basurang walang tigil na tinatapon sa mga estero at waterways ng Metro Manila.

Nadagdagan pa. Balita’y sadyang binara ng mga “tulak boys” ang ilang lagusan ng tubig-ulan para tibang-tiba ang kanilang kalakal – ang pagtulak ng mga sasakyang tumititirk sa baha.

Mga buwiset!

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Inanunsyo ni DILG Sec Mar Roxas na ang pamahalaan ay bibili ng 2,500 patrol cars para bumilis at maging mas epektibo ang Philippine National Police sa laban sa krimen.

“Bulto-bulto ang pagbili ng police cars – hindi tingi…”

Pinulong ni Roxas ang mga opisyales ng ilang mga car manufacturers, kabilang na ang Mitsubishi, Honda, Toyota, Kia, at BMW at ipinahiwatig na may nakalaang budget na P2.08 bilyon para sa mga sasakyan – at ang pagbili ay bulto-bulto, hindi “tingi”.

Wag lang sanang malimutang maglaan ng budget para sa gasolina… kundi’y magsisilbi lang “props” ang mga sasakyang ito sa labas ng mga presinto.

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Huling hirit.

Ernie: Ano sa inggles ang Maswerte akong lalaki?
Angel: Lucky Me with Egg.

Ernie: Eh iyong matronang barat?
Angel: Payless instant Mommy?

“He is 38, and unemployed. He dropped out of college.
He has been a cook, a salesman, a diplomatist and a farmer.
He knows nothing about marketing and had never written any copy.
He professes to be interested in advertising as a career (at the age of 38!) and is ready to go to work for $5,000 a year.

I doubt if any American agency will hire him.

However, a London agency did hire him. Three years later he became the most famous copywriter in the world, and in due course built the tenth biggest agency in the world.

The moral: it sometimes pays an agency to be imaginative and unorthodox in hiring.”

Probably, the world’s greatest copy writer… David Ogilvy never compromised on his craft. Ever.                                 

In my quest to be a copy writer that never fails to surprise and delight, these words from David Ogilvy have ruthlessly guided me:

1) “I don’t know the rules of grammar … If you’re trying to persuade people to do something, or buy something, it seems to me you should use their language, the language they use every day, the language in which they think. We try to write in the vernacular.” 

2) “It has been found that the less an advertisement looks like an advertisement and the more it looks like an editorial, the more readers stop, look, and read.”

3) “Never write an advertisement which you wouldn’t want your family to read. You wouldn’t tell lies to your own wife. Don’t tell them to mine.” 

4) “Do not address your readers as though they were gathered together in a stadium. When people read your copy, they are alone. Pretend you are writing to each of them a letter on behalf of your client.” 

5) “Consumers [decide] to buy or not to buy [based on] the content of your advertising, not its form.” 

6) “On the average, five times as many people read the headline as read the body copy. When you have written your headline, you have spent eighty cents out of your dollar.” 

7) “The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.” 

8) “Good copy can’t be written with tongue in cheek, written just for a living. You’ve got to believe in the product.” 

9) “Advertising people who ignore research are as dangerous as generals who ignore decodes of enemy signals.” 

10) “Never stop testing, and your advertising will never stop improving.” 

11) “Why should a manufacturer bet his money, perhaps the future of his company, on your instinct?” 

12) “Hire people who are better than you are, then leave them to get on with it. Look for people who will aim for the remarkable, who will not settle for the routine.” 

13) “Training should not be confined to trainees. It should be a continuous process, and should include the entire professional staff of the agency. The more our people learn, the more useful they can be to our clients.”

14) “If you always hire people who are smaller than you are, we shall become a company of dwarfs. If, on the other hand, you always hire people who are bigger than you are, we shall become a company of giants.”  

15) “Don’t bunt. Aim out of the ball park. Aim for the company of immortals.”

Sa Maldives – isang bansa sa Indian Ocean – medyo bulok ang sistema ng hustisya.

May isang 15-anyos na dalaga na ginahasa sa loob ng maraming taon ng kinakasamang lalaki ng kaniyang nanay.

Pinatay pa ng lalaki ang sanggol ng dalaga nang ito ay nabuntis.

Nang ito’y madiskubre ng mga awtoridad, nilabas ng gobyerno ang kautusan na agad dapat parusahan – ang dalaga.

Korek. Ang biktima ng rape pa ang hinatulan ng korte na siyang mananagot para sa krimeng “sex outside marriage”.

Ang parusa: paglatigo ng 100 beses – saksi ang publiko .

Kumalat ang balitang ito sa buong mundo na hindi kinatuwa ng marami. Binaha ng protesta si Maldives President  Mohammed Waheed Hassan kaya napilitang ipawalang bisa ang hatol ng korte.

Pero wala pa ring happy ending sa kuwentong ito pagka’t – sa Maldives – tuloy pa rin ang parusang paglatigo ng mga kababaihan at kabataan – kabilang na ang mga biktima ng rape at pag-aabusong sexual.

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Nagpaalam na si Ping Lacson sa kaniyang mga kasamahan sa Senado kung saan kakatapos lang ng kaniyang huling termino bilang Senador.

Pero umaasa ang marami ng hindi tuluyang mag-reretiro ang senador na dati ring nagsilbi bliang isang “no-nonsense” PNP chief.

Nang tanungin tungkol sa kaniyang mga plano, inamin ni Sen. Ping na nais niyang mamuno sa isang grupong epektibong magpapatibay sa anti-corruption drive ng gobyerno.

Kakarerin ang labanan ang corrupt?

Balita’y nag-usap na ang Pangulo at si Senador Ping pero hindi pa klaro ang ilang mga detalye tungkol sa posisyon at kung papaano ito isatutupad.

Sana nama’y hindi mapunta sa isang “study group” sa Malacanang ang mga plano para sa patuloy na pagsilbi sa taong bayan ng isang Ping Lacson.

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Sa isang bansang tulad ng Piliinas na laging binibisita ng bagyo at tinatamaan ng mga sakunang dala ng kalikasan, mahalaga ang Pagasa (Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration).

Magnet ang Pinas sa perwisyong dala ng tampo ng kalikasan

Ang problema: napapabayaan ang hindi glamorosong ahensiyang ito.

Kapos sa budget… tiyane magpasahod kaya ang magagaling nating weather forecasters ay kay daling nasusulot sa ibang bansa.

Kahit ang administrator ng Pagasa si Nathaniel Servando ay nagpasyang mag-leave ng tatlong buwan (na pinadagdagan pa ng dalawang buwan).

Akala ng mga kasamahan ay magpapahinga lang si Servando habang inaasikaso ang maliit nitong sari-sari store sa kaniyang tahanan.

Huling balita’y nagtuturo siya sa isang unibersidad sa Dubai.

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Huling hirit.

Teacher:  Angel, sagutin mo ang tanong ko – kung meron akong 5 anak sa unang asawa at 6 sa pangalawang asawa, mayroon akong…?

Angel:  Ma’am, meron kayong taglay na kalandian.

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Huling huli na.

Idineklara ng isang kandidato (na garapal na nag-vote buying sa halagang P6,000 bawat tanga) na maliit lang ang ginastos niya – hindi pa raw umabot ng P300,000.

“Freddie didn’t announce publicly that he had AIDS until the day before he died in 1991. Although he was flamboyant onstage — an electric front man on par with Bowie and Jagger — he was an intensely private man offstage. But Freddie told me he had AIDS soon after he was diagnosed in 1987. I was devastated. I’d seen what the disease had done to so many of my other friends. I knew exactly what it was going to do to Freddie. As did he. He knew death, agonizing death, was coming. But Freddie was incredibly courageous. He kept up appearances, he kept performing with Queen, and he kept being the funny, outrageous, and profoundly generous person he had always been.

As Freddie deteriorated in the late 1980s and early ’90s, it was almost too much to bear. It broke my heart to see this absolute light unto the world ravaged by AIDS. By the end, his body was covered with Kaposi’s sarcoma lesions. He was almost blind. He was too weak to even stand.

By all rights, Freddie should have spent those final days concerned only with his own comfort. But that wasn’t who he was. He truly lived for others. Freddie had passed on November 24, 1991, and weeks after the funeral, I was still grieving. On Christmas Day, I learned that Freddie had left me one final testament to his selflessness. I was moping about when a friend unexpectedly showed up at my door and handed me something wrapped in a pillowcase. I opened it up, and inside was a painting by one of my favorite artists, the British painter Henry Scott Tuke. And there was a note from Freddie. Years before, Freddie and I had developed pet names for each other, our drag-queen alter egos. I was Sharon, and he was Melina. Freddie’s note read, “Dear Sharon, thought you’d like this. Love, Melina. Happy Christmas.”

I was overcome, forty-four years old at the time, crying like a child. Here was this beautiful man, dying from AIDS, and in his final days, he had somehow managed to find me a lovely Christmas present. As sad as that moment was, it’s often the one I think about when I remember Freddie, because it captures the character of the man. In death, he reminded me of what made him so special in life.” – Elton John

(Excerpts from the book Love is the Cure)

Dumulas at sumadsad sa putik ang isang Airbus ng Cebu Pacific sa Davao International Airport noong Hunyo 2.

(Photo by Inquirer.net)

Agad giniit ni Lance Gokongwei, President/CEO ng Cebu Pacific, na ito ay hindi “emergency situation” na saliwa naman sa kuwento ng ilang mga namumutlang pasahero. (Kuwento ng isang pasahero.)

Sino ang paniniwalaan?

Sabi ng mga nakapanayam ng media na kanilang akala’y katapusan na nila. Nang tumigil ang eroplano, walang man lang narinig na anunsyo o babala kung ano na ang dapat gawin. Inabot ng halos 20 minuto bago nakalisan ang mga pasahero sa eroplano – labag sa patakaran na dapat ma-”evacuate” ang mga pasahero sa loob ng tatlong minuto.

Laking perwisyo ang dinulot ng nasirang eroplano: higit sa 40 flights ang kinansela o re-routed, daan-daang pasahero ang naabala at maraming negosyo ang tinamaan ng pagkalugi na tinatantsang aabot ng halos P250 milyon.

Barado kasi ng dalawang araw ang runway at ayaw naman pagalaw ng Cebu Pacific ang nasirang eroplano pagka’t baka manganib ang insurance na hahabulin nila.

Si Davao Mayor Sara Duterte ay galit na galit sa sobrang perwisyo na nagbanta siyang papatulong sa PAL na wasakin ang eroplano o tatawagin ang lahat ng junk dealers at akyat bahay ng Davao para talupan ito.

Pinaka “bad trip” sa marami ay ang pinakitang kilos ng mga taga Cebu Pacific. Pati ang may-ari ng airline – imbes na kumustahin ang mga pasahero – ang unang inatupag ay ang lumpong eroplano na may halagang $40-M.

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Tsinoys vs Tisoys – tuloy ang away. Tapos ng napakaraming taon, mukhang desidido na ang gobyerno na sa Trinoma – at hindi sa SM North Edsa – itatayo ang istasyong sentral na parehong gagamitin ng LRT 1&2 at MRT 3, pati na rin ang binabalak na MRT 7.

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Hindi na hinintay ni Senate President Enrile na maglabasan ang mga hudas na senador na siyang maglalaglag sa kaniya –  agad siyang nagbitiw bilang Senate President. Ang desisyon niya ay kaniyang inihayag sa isang privilege speech kung saan tinira na rin niya ang mga (sa isip niya) nagtaksil at siya ring dahilan na natalo ang anak niyang si Jack nang tumakbo ito sa pagka senador.

Pakiwari ng marami na si Sen. Drilon ang papalit kay JPE

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Hula who. Natsugi ang isang variety TV show at isa raw sa mga dahilan ay ang mag-asawang kabilang sa mga host nito. Ang lalaki’y sumubok lumundag sa ibang network pero hindi kinagat ang mga hiling niya. Package deal kaya?

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Huling hirit.

ERNIE: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay kaming kumain. Ngayong mahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.

ANGEL: Baligtad yata?

ERNIE: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!

Steve Jobs was the greatest marketer ever.  

Here are 10 marketing lessons you can learn from him.

1) Find good mentors.

Jobs may have been a genius, but he was also smart enough to find people he could learn from. One of his first tutors was Regis McKenna, a legendary Silicon Valley marketer. Jobs sought him out even while Apple was still just a two-man operation in a garage. McKenna helped Jobs bring on Mike Markkula as Apple’s first angel investor and marketing guru. Markkula was an engineer by training but had worked in marketing at Intel. He joined Apple as an employee (for a time he was CEO) and created a set of founding marketing principles to which Apple still adheres today, 35 years later.

Later, Jobs befriended advertising expert Lee Clow of TBWA\Chiat\Day, who created Apple’s famous 1984 commercial and “Think Different” campaign. Clow became a lifelong advisor and friend to Jobs. Lesson: No matter how good you are, learn how to spot people who know more than you do, and then listen to them.

2) Make a great product.

What Steve did that few marketers understand is that he first created a great product. It’s hard to market crap. Most marketers take whatever crap is thrown at them and put lipstick on the pig. Steve’s ‘secret’ was to control the product and the marketing, not just the marketing.

3) Stand for something.

When The Apple Computer Company launched in 1977, Jobs and Markkula outlined three core company principles. First, Apple would empathize with customers. Second, Apple would focus on doing a few things really well. Third, Apple would impute its values (simplicity, high quality) across everything it did — not just within the products themselves, but also through the packaging of products, the look of its stores, and even the way Apple created press releases.

Jobs did a remarkable thing at Apple by insisting on a consistency of design and taste across everything Apple did. Think that’s easy? Look at your company’s website. Do all the sections look like they were made by the same invisible hand? Or does the site look like a digital Frankenstein monster, with different sections cobbled together that all bear the look and feel of whoever happened to make those pages when that part of the site was built? And even if your website looks consistent, does it mesh with your press releases? With your storefront? Your trucks? Your product packaging? That unity is exactly what Jobs pulled off.

4) Spend money.

Jobs was a natural showman and a fan of big gestures. One great example was the 1984commercial for the new Macintosh. As always, Jobs decided to go big. He hired Ridley Scott, the director of Alien and Blade Runner, and spent $900,000 making the 60-second spot and $800,000 to run it one time during the Super Bowl. (That $1.7 million spend would be $3.4 million today.) This was a huge risk for the company, especially since it wasn’t clear that the ad would succeed. In fact, Apple’s board hated the ad so much they didn’t want to run it at all.

But the big bet paid off. The ad generated as much coverage as the Macintosh itself.

5) Create experiences.

Apple described the 1984 commercial as a form of “event marketing,” meaning a campaign where the promotion itself is so revolutionary or unique that it gets covered as an event in its own right. Soon after the 1984 commercial, Jobs pulled something similar when he spent $2.5 million to buy the entire 40-page advertising hole in an edition of Newsweek. Other examples of event marketing were the “Think Different” and “I’m a Mac” campaigns. Yet another: every keynote Jobs ever did, with fans lining up overnight as if they were going to a Beatles reunion.

Jean-Louis Gassee, a former executive at Apple whose roles included running worldwide marketing, says Jobs understood the importance of storytelling, and used it again and again in things like the “I’m a Mac, You’re a PC” campaign. “We all want stories,” Gassee says. “That’s why there is so much whining about Apple and [CEO Tim] Cook right now. No story.”

6) Keep secrets and build mystery.

The reason people lined up at Apple events, aside from Jobs’ rock-star charisma, was that he was a master of suspense and surprise, and there was always the hope that he might unveil something amazing. Months before a big product launch, Apple would start leaking information. First a hint, then a rumor, then other rumors that contradicted the first rumor. Most of it was misinformation, but it drove people into a frenzy of speculation.

By the time Jobs got up and showed off the iPhone, the world had been buzzing about it for a year, with people passing around photos of supposed prototypes and designers creating their own imaginary versions of what an Apple phone might look like. Jobs was also famous for his “One more thing” gesture, where, just when you thought a press conference was over, he’d say, “Oh, one more thing,” and then pull out something that blew everyone away. The lesson: Most marketers rush out to tell everyone as much as they can about their product. Jobs did the opposite — he held back information to get people excited.

7) Find an enemy.

The first rule of storytelling is that drama requires conflict. And the first rule of propaganda is that you need to have a bad guy. For Apple the original bad guy was IBM. Then the boogeyman became Microsoft. More recently, Jobs made Google and its Android operating system the villain. In each case, Jobs’ message was the same: The bad guy wants to take over the world and destroy it, and we are the noble underdog that can keep this from happening.

A lot of marketers shy away from this kind of rhetoric. They’re afraid it will rebound and hurt them. They act, very often, like needy children who want very much to be loved by everyone. To be sure, it’s definitely risky to create an enemy, especially if you choose an enemy that’s big and powerful. But Jobs believed that to sell product you had to first lead a movement. If you’re going to have a revolution, you need to have something or someone to rebel against.

8) Turn customers into evangelists.

Possibly the biggest thing Jobs did was turn customers into passionate advocates for the Apple brand. Those people who line up outside Apple stores every time there’s a new iPhone? Even when it’s just an incremental improvement on the last iPhone? They’re not there for the phone. They’ve come to show their support for the team, the way sports fans show up hours before a game wearing the team colors. Apple fans don’t think of themselves as customers. They feel as if they’re part of a movement, a mission, something larger than themselves.

9) Don’t talk about products.

The 1984 commercial contains not a single image of the Macintosh. There’s a mention of Apple and the Macintosh in the last 10 seconds. Same for “Think Different,” where the ads weren’t about products but rather the kind of people who would use the products. In the “I’m a Mac” campaign Jobs removed the computers and replaced them with people — two characters who serve as proxies for two different kinds of computers. Or consider the ad just below here, which you’ll note doesn’t contain a picture of a computer.

10) Use pictures, not words.

The ad above contains 10 words. Even today, on its website and in its advertising, Apple devotes tremendous effort to saying things in as few words as possible. Partly that’s aligning with the core value of simplicity at Apple. But it’s also because Jobs realized that images are much more powerful storytellers.

One example of this was the introduction of the MacBook Air, where Jobs came out on stage with a manila envelope and slid the slim laptop out of it. That one simple gesture blew people away and said more about the product than thousands of words could.

Or the recent ad for the iPhone’s camera. First of all, the ad is about only a single aspect of the iPhone — its camera. And the only marketing message in the entire 60-second spot is a five-second voice-over at the end that contains 13 words: “Every day, more photos are taken with the iPhone than any other camera.”

We all know the saying that “less is more.” Most of us completely agree with the sentiment, especially when it comes to words. So why don’t we do it? Probably because it’s hard work. As Mark Twain once said, “If I had more time, I’d write shorter.”

That may be the ultimate lesson about Steve Jobs — that a great deal of his success came from the fact that he was willing to take more time and work a little harder than most of us mere mortals.

(NOTE: This article originally appeared in an email from http://www.hubspot.com)

Inulan ng batikos si Vice Ganda dahil sa isang “joke” na pinakawalan niya sa kaniyang concert kamakailan.

Ika niya:

“Ang hirap nga lang kung si Jessica Soho magbo-bold. Kailangan gang rape lagi. Sasabihin ng rapist, ‘Ipasa ang lechon.’ Sasabihin naman ni Jessica, ‘Eh nasaan yung apple?’”

Hindi natuwa ang marami pagka’t 1) hindi dapat ginagawang biro ang paksang rape, at 2) hindi nila maintindihan kung bakit si Jessica ang pinag-initan. Isang award-winning broadcast journalist, si Jessica Soho ay disente at tahimik na tao, hindi komedyante at wala namang nasabi o nagawang masama kay Vice Ganda.

Pinagpistahan si Vice Ganda sa internet.

Ang pambabastos ay hindi pinalampas ni Arnold Clavio, kasamahan ni Jessica sa GMA 7.

Nanggigigil na ibinuhos ang galit.

“Bakit mo binibiktima ang mga taong seryoso sa trabaho nila? Huwag mo silang kasangkapanin para lang makapagpagpatawa. Bakit hindi taga-diyan sa inyo ang gawin mong subject ng jokes mo? Baki hindi taga-ABS?”

May katuwiran si Arnold. Bakit kaya hindi subukan ni Vice na ang gawing taya sa joke niya ay si… Korina Sanchez? Kaya ba ng powers niya? O, tsugi siya agad sa trabaho?

(Pinakahuling balita’y sinubukang mag-apologize ni Vice Ganda kay Jessica Soho – dala na rin sa tumitinding galit ng taong bayan – pero mukhang hindi nagkaayusan.)

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Helong-helo na ang mundo sa dami at bilis ng mga pagbabago. Sa France, legal na ang same-sex marriage  - wa-epek ang pagpo- protesta ng daan-daang libong tutol dito.

Sa America, puwede nang sumapi ang mga bading sa Boy Scouts.

Tanggap na ang bading sa Boy Scouts

Sa Colorado, malapit nang maging legal ang paggamit ng marijuana.

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Kahit si Charice ay dumaraan sa kay raming pagbabago: dedma lang sa mga batikos tungkol sa kaniyang kakaibang anyo at kilos. “Para akong ibong malaya”, masaya niyang inihayag.

Parang “ibong malaya”

At para patigilin ang maraming gumigiit na “laos” na siya, bumili ng bagong BMW ang singer – at cash ang pinambayad.

Astig!

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Simula June 20, bawal na ang plastic sa Makati. Ang tinutukoy na bawal ay hindi ang ilang plastic na nakatira sa Forbes kundi… plastic na ginagamit na pambalot ng mga negosyo sa lungsod.

Bawal na ang plastic

Ang mga lalabag ay pagmumultahin ng P1,000 at may kasama pang kulong.

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Huling hirit.

ANGEL: BAKIT MAY TALI KA SA PAA!!?

ERNIE: Gusto ko nang magpakamatay! MAG-BIBIGTI AKO!

ANGEL: Bakit sa paa? Dapat sa leeg!

ERNIE: Sinubukan ko na sa Leeg kanina. Kaso hindi ako maka hinga eh.

ANGEL: Ngek!

Maraming matututunan kay Ai-Ai delas Alas sa kaniyang nakakalungkot na karanasan kamakailan.

Noong Abril, nagpasya si Ai-Ai, 48, na pakasalan ang kaniyang boypren na 20 taon ang agwat sa edad niya.

Tapos ng isang buwan bilang mister at misis, naisipan ni lalaki na type niyang mag-casino para ipagdiwang ang “monthversary” nila. (Marahil nagsawa na siya sa kakaharurot sa Chevy Camaro  na iniregalo sa kaniya ng galanteng misis.)

Hindi “feel” ng artista na mag-casino at sabi’y mag-hotel na lang sila.

Ikinagalit ito ni mister.

“Hinagis ako sa kama, sampalan, bunuan. Noong araw na iyon, feeling ko ‘yung time na hinila niya ako sa sahig at kinaladkad niya ako, doon ko na-realize na hindi ko na ito kaya… “, inamin ni Ai-Ai.

Iginigiit ng mga kaibigan ni Ai-Ai na may pre-nup ang mag-asawa. Pakiwari nami’y wala – ang taong sobrang in-love, wala sa sarili o sa tamang pagiisip…

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Mautak itong si President Ma ng Taiwan. Bagsak ang rating niya kaya ginagamit ang pagkabaril sa isang Taiwanese sa teritoryo natin para tumaas-taas ang naghihingalong popularidad.

Uto-uto naman ang mga Taiwanese at sumakay sa gimik. Gigil na gigil ngayon ang mga anak ng tokwa sa mga Pinoy na nagta-trabaho at naninirahan sa Taiwan.

Klarong-klaro, noh. 1. Nangingisda ang mga Taiwanese nang walang pahintulot sa ating teritoryo. 2. Agad-agad nagpadala ng personal apology si PNoy – pero ang gusto ng mga dura-dura gang ay apology mula sa gobyerno ng Pinas. 3. Malaking pera na ang naibigay sa napatay na mangingisda – pero humihingi pa ng dagdag ang mga Taiwanese.

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Cezar Mancao inaasar si De Lima? Ang pinaghahanap na witness-na-naging-akusado sa Dacer-Corbito case ay nagtatago pero may oras pang asarin si DOJ Secretary Leila de Lima.

Nagpakuha at ikinalat ni Mancao ang maraming litrato niya na nagpapakita sa matinding pinaghahanap-hanap ng NBI na nagre-relaks sa isang coffee shop, nakapila sa Jollibee at naka tambay sa paligid ng Department of Justice.

So, anong “peg”, serr?

So, anong “peg”… anong konek, serr? Gustong patunayan na mas magaling ka kay Sen. Ping sa hide ‘n seek?

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Ang pinakamagandang balita sa nakaraang eleksyon ay ang pagkabuwag ng ilang political dynasty sa buong bansa. Ang pinakamalaking talunan: ang mga Jalosjos ng Zamboanga peninsula. 13 sa angkan ang tumakbo sa maraming puwesto – isa lang ang nakalusot.

People’s revolt sa Zamboanga?

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HULING HIRIT.

ANGEL:  Balita ko bakla ka.

ERNIE:  Hindi ako bakla noh! Mga chismax lang yan galing sa mga chuvaness na walang magawa sa chenelyn nila. Mga chaka ever! Ako? Backlush? Hallow?

ANGEL:  Ganun ba? Akala ko totoo ang churvah. Okey.

Abalang-abala siguro si Oprah Winfrey sa paghahagilap kay Charice Pempengco.

Balita kasi na ang singer (na kamakailan lang ay naka-kontrata sa kumpanya ni Oprah) ay itinanan si Alyssa Quijano, isa ring singer na naging finalist sa singing contest na X-Factor.

The “new” Charice

Nagbagong-anyo at dating rin si Charice. Ang tawag ng ilang entertainmnet reporters dito ay ang “barako look”.

Naririnig-rinig na namin ang unang pukol ni Oprah: “Hello, Charice… anyari?”

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Lupit manlait. Grabe ang panlalait na pinupukol ng marami kay Nancy Binay, isa sa ating mga bagong senadora. Hindi na ang kaniyang kakayanan ang tinitira kundi ang kulay ng kutis at ang kaniyang anyo.

Medyo malupit na ang tirahan

Malamang nasasaktan na ang pamilya Binay. Siguro, konting hinay-hinay tayo. Kahit si Lito Lapid – ang tahimik na Senador – ay di kailanman naulanan ng pangungutya tulad nang bumubuhos ngayon kay Nancy.

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Napakasuwerte ang mga naninirahan sa dalawang lungsod sa Metro Manila. Mayroon silang alkaldeng mga babae na disente, hindi corrupt at kapakanan ng mga siyudad ang prioridad.

Ang itinutukoy ko ay si Taguig Mayor Lani Cayetano at si Mayor Maribel Eusebio ng Pasig City.

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Malikot mag-isip ang Diyos. May ilang kandidato sa pagka-Senador ang  puspusang tinarget na sila’y maging Numero Uno sa winning 12. Katuwiran:  para pataasin ang halaga nila sa darating na eleksyon sa 2016… para paramihin ang tataya sa kanila kung magpasya silang tumakbo sa mas mataas na posisyon.

Buking ng Diyos ang pakay.  Pinagkaloob ang No. 1 position sa isang kandidatong wala masyadong budget, walang ga-higanteng ambisyon, walang maraming pinapangako at walang kaere-ere.

May kasamang kindat, ang puwesto’y binigay ni bossing kay Amazing Grace. Grace Poe.

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Sawang-sawa na ang mga Pinoy sa pare-parehong mga apelyidong naghahari sa ating mga lungsod at lalawigan.

Ang tanong ng marami: maaari kayang mabago ang situwasyon bago sumapit ang halalan 2016?

O. umasa pa tayo?

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Huling hirit.

(Sa office.)

Si bossing naguguluhan about his math ay tinanong ang kanyang secretary:

BOSS: Kung bibigyan kita ng 5 milyon, less 12.35%, how much would you take off ?

SECRETARY : Lahat sir, pati damit, at bra, and….

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(Sige na nga… isa pa.)

ANGEL: Ano ang pagkakaiba-iba sa stress, tension at panic?

ERNIE: Stress ay kung buntis ang asawa.

ANGEL:  Tension?

ERNIE:  Tension  ay kung ang kabit ay buntis.

ANGEL:  At panic?

ERNIE:   Panic is ay kung parehong buntis.